


Peace

by eunthusiast



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Kinda, M/M, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunthusiast/pseuds/eunthusiast
Summary: Levi deals with the aftermath of Erwin's death.
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Erwin Smith
Kudos: 25





	Peace

The sun sunk into the horizon, slowly bringing out the moon and the stars, giving light to darkness of the world. What would have been a joyous occasion, what would have been a time to celebrate, has been dampened by the grief and loss of our comrades. Today we lost more than we have gained but the cause of all this grief, death and destruction are still roaming free. That damned beast titan and that traitor are still roaming around this shitty world. 

Yes we have regained Wall Maria, but how long until it gets taken back again? How long until the walls are at chaos again? How long will this peace last? 

The only person, the one person who could have led us to victory, to peace is now gone. Gone before he could even see and reap all his hard work and his effort. 

"He's at peace now you know?" a voice said beside me. I didn't bother looking up to know that it is four eyes bothering me again. "Erwin finally found his peace. It's no use keeping him longer when he's suffered for so long don't you think?"

 _'Of course I know that.'_ I thought as it was one of the main reasons for my choice of saving Arlert instead. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and hummed in response. I could feel their gaze but chose to ignore it, opting to look for the brightest star in the sky knowing for a fact that it would be him. He always shone wherever he went, so of course he'd shine brightly after death too. A memory flashed in my head of the last time the sky was this bright. 

_I remember the night after he recovered from the last expedition he was in after he lost his right arm. I still remember his gentle touch, as he placed his hand at the small of my back, leading me towards an empty field. I can still remember the cold night air prickling at our skin as he led me up the hill. When I asked him where he was taking me, he told me "To see the stars, of course". I had questions and concerns in my head, but I didn't voice them this time and followed him instead because wherever he went I would always follow._

_When we reached our destination, he covered my eyes and told me to count to three. I rolled my eyes in my mind but still counted out and when he removed his hand, I looked up to the sky and saw that it was twinkling brightly, as multiple stars littered the sky. I watched in awe, as this was the brightest the night sky had been. Usually there would only be one or two stars but it seems like they all came out tonight._

_"I noticed it earlier. I saw how the sky is brighter than usual and I wanted to take you out to see it with me." he said as he wrapped his arm around me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder._

_"And why is that commander?" I asked him, my eyes still on the sky._

_"So I could do this."_

_I turned around as I felt his warmth disappear but to my utter surprise, there he was, on one knee with a ring held out. I gasped as I stared at the plain silver band with a single rose engraved on the outside._

_"I don't have a speech prepared for this but here I go." he took in a deep breath and then, "I never thought that I would love again after Marie, I never thought that I could love another being this much in my life. But here you are. When you entered my life, I thought nothing of you, just another person who I would eventually lose in the process of trying to satisfy my ambition. However, what I failed to realise was that you were different. That this small ball of anger and grumpiness would end up being the one I would swear to love and will always love you until my dying breath._

_With you unfaltering loyalty, your complete trust and your endless love, you slowly wormed your way into the cracks of my heart and before I knew it, my heart was already stolen. When my life flashed before my eyes, I realised that I never wanted to be apart from you, that I desperately wanted to come home to you. That's when, as twisted as it sounds, I realised that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. The person I had initially grouped with the rest of the soldiers, has now become the most important person in my life._

_So Levi. Would you do me the honour of being my partner for life?"_

_I didn't have to think about it, it wasn't something that needed to be thought out because I know that he is the person I'd want to spend the rest of my life with, this I've known for a while now. "Yes."_

_I watched as his face lit up, a smile overtaking his features as he stood back up and placed the ring in my finger. I pulled him into a kiss as he wrapped his left arm around my waist and once we separated, he leaned his forehead against mine._

_"It's fitting isn't it?" he whispered. I raised my eyebrow at him in response and he just chuckled. "I was planning on proposing tonight and it seems like our fallen comrades knew of my plans that's why they probably decided to come out tonight."_

_I frowned in confusion, "What?"_

_"Look up my love." he said. I did as he told, "There is a belief that when someone dies they become stars. I like to think that those are our comrades and when I die, I believe I would be good enough to join them."_

It seems like those who have died today have joined them up in the sky. I tried looking for the brightest star, but it seems like my eyesight is not very good today as my sight is starting to blur. I looked down and leaned my head on my shoulder as I clutched my necklace where my ring hung, hidden underneath my uniform. I traced the outline of my ring and counted to ten, trying to calm my mind. 

"Erwin was always trying to do the right thing, he was always trying to save humanity. He tried his best while carrying the burden of the deaths of his comrades. I'd like to think that he's happier and at peace in the afterlife now and that he wouldn't be happy that you're here sulking on your own. He'd also say that it's not like you to regret a decision you've made." they said. 

"I don't regret it." I replied, without a beat of hesitation because I don't. Saving Arlert was the better option, not because the brats were crying their eyes out and screaming about the ocean, but because Arlert had more desire to save humanity. His desire to save humanity bigger than Erwin's. Had it been different, had Erwin been more motivated in saving humanity than fulfilling his ambition of obtaining knowledge about the world, I would have chosen him. But you see, in this world, duty and obligation would come before any personal attachments..

"Oh?"

"I love, no, I loved him but I couldn't prioritise that over humanity." I let out. Another person taken away from me, another one to add to the endless list of people who've left. But this time, I had a choice and I chose to lose him. How much more must I lose for fate to be satisfied? How much more would I have to lose before we win? At this point, I don't care if Hange finds out about the true nature of mine and Erwin's relationship. I have nothing left to lose anyways. 

"Love?" Hange asked, confusion lacing their voice. I stayed quiet, as I counted to ten once more, ignoring the quiet gasp that Hange let out. 

"Oh no. Oh no. Levi..." they started but I just shook my head. I looked at her for the first time and saw pity and sadness on their face. "H-how long?" 

"Six years." I replied without missing a beat. "We've been 'married' for a couple of months." 

I watched as a flurry of emotions washed over their features. Realisation, sadness, frustration and pity. They reached out to me but I just shook my head again and they retracted their hand. I sighed as I looked up to the stars again, taking a slight comfort in them. 

"It doesn't matter though. It never did. With our line of work, we can't be selfish. I know that despite him wanting to know the truth of the world, he would have wanted me to save Arlert instead. The moment he led those scouts towards the beast titan, he walked away on his ambition. We both knew what our duties entailed. We loved each other, but- but that wouldn't have been enough in this world."

_"Levi thank you." he said with a sad look in his eyes. I desperately wanted to tell him not to go, to stay above the wall and to retreat. But I knew, I knew that there was no changing his mind. I took his hand in mine and held onto it tightly for the last time._

_"I want you to live. I want us to grow old together. I want us to live together until the end, to see what is on the other side of that blasted wall. But nothing I say will change your mind right?"_

_"No, my love. I believe I have led so many of our comrades to hell and to back out after being so close to the truth now would be unfair to them. I need to lead them once more."_

_I looked at him and saw that those beautiful blue eyes were filled with sadness and tears at the inevitable goodbye._

_"I don't want to let go." I whispered. He gave me a sad smile and gently caressed my face with his hand._

_"I don't want to either love but it seems like my timer is up. It's time to go." he wiped the lone tear that escaped my eye and he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead one last time. "I love you Levi Ackerman. I always will."_

_"I love you too eyebrows."_

I felt something wet trailing down my face and at first I thought it was rain, but there were no clouds. It wasn't until four eyes pulled me into their embrace that I realised I had been crying. I shook in their arms as everything I had kept in all day finally leaked out. They were saying something but I couldn't hear them, as their voice was slowly fading. I tried counting to ten once more, to calm myself but it doesn't seem to be working. I could feel my breathing getting heavier, my lungs feeling like they're being squeezed as Hange pulled away. I tried looking at their face but it was blurry and I can't seem to hear their voice anymore as they seem to get farther and farther away. 

I tried to regulate my breathing but it seems like the more I try, the harder it gets and my eyelids are starting to feel heavier. I tried looking over their shoulder and before everything went black, I saw something shine bright in the sky. 

_Ahh, I see you've joined them now, you can finally rest in paradise my love._

**Author's Note:**

> I've just finished watching aot and I am absolutely overcome with emotions because of it :'(


End file.
